Ignatius Reilly Told You So Long Ago - People From New Orleans Have A Hard Time Leaving Their Homes

A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head. The green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that grew in the ears themselves, stuck out on either side like turn signals indicating two directions at once. Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled with disapproval and potato chip crumbs. In the shadow under the green visor of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly's supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D.H. Holmes department store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress. Several of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be properly considered offenses against taste and decency. Possession of anything new or expensive only reflected a person's lack of theology and geometry; it could even cast doubts upon one's soul. --from A Confederacy of Dunces

I'm definitely regaining my sense of humor - my more predictable friends in New Orleans are showing the country what makes them so special, and makes me love them so much.

I've had perhaps 50 or more phone and email conversations today from people outside of New Orleans --part-time tourists-- who are absolutely befuddled by the so-called "stragglers" who refuse, in the face of "incontrovertible scientific evidence of imminent danger" to their lives, to abandoned their homes and beloved city.

Everything I've heard today can be reduced to this: "Why the hell aren't these people getting the hell out of the city? What's wrong with them? Don't they know New Orleans is totally destroyed and contaiminated? Don't they realize their city is now unfit for human habitation? Don't they get it that every house in the city of New Orleans is going to have to be bulldozed and the city covered up with 50 feet of river mud!"

Yeah, you right! So you think...

Mayor Nagin of New Orleans has now ordered them out. But just for the record, and just so you can say you read it here first, the Mayor of New Orleans knows better - he knows the heart and soul of a true hard-core New Orleanian. Leaving ain't an option.

The rest of the country got a tiny little taste of that rare American cultural trait awhile back in a somewhat famous book that won a really big literary prize. Now might be a good time for some of ya'll to read that book anew....if you seriously don't get what's at play down in New Orleans.

Oh, and by the way, don't think that the "stragglers" on the East Bank of New Orleans haven't noticed that the Mayor's order excludes their fellow citizens on the West Bank in Algiers - oh, dear God, don't even get me started about the West Bank! I'll be quoting Ignatius Reilly all night long.
“It smells terrible in here.”

“Well, what do you expect? The human body when confined, produces certain odors which we tend to forget in this age of deodorants and other perversions. Actually, I find the atmosphere of this room rather comforting. Schiller needed the scent of apples rotting in his desk in order to write. I ,too, have my needs. You may remember that Mark Twain preferred to lie supinely in bed while composing those rather dated and boring efforts which contemporary scholars try to prove meaningful. Veneration of Mark Twain is one of the roots of our current intellectual stalemate.”

A Confederacy of Dunces
by John Kennedy Toole
(bio and other books)

Written by the late John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces is whole-heartedly a character-driven comedy, and a tremendous contribution to American literature.

The book opens with Ignatius Reilly, who may very well be the most disgusting lead character ever in a novel. He is a grossly overweight, intellectual, deadbeat, who, as a grown man, still lives at home with his mother. He passes his days by lying in bed on “stained sheets”, eating, masturbating and writing a melodramatic diatribe in his Big Chief notebook. He rarely leaves the house and only to run errands with his mother, or go to the movies.

The story, set in the heart of New Orleans, begins with Ignatius Reilly on one of those rare occasions standing on Canal Street waiting for his mother when a cop tries to arrest him for looking suspicious. Ignatius resists the arrest and a crowd forms as he scoffs at the cop’s accusations. This sets off one disaster after another and things quickly spiral out of control. So rattled by all the commotion, Mrs. Reilly accidentally drives her Plymouth into a building. In order to pay the damage, Ignatius mother demands that he get a job.

His entry into the working world is both horrendous and hilarious. Working for Levy Pants ignites a lawsuit and working as hotdog vendor causes even more mayhem. After reading this book it is difficult to ever look at hotdog stand without thinking of Ignatius Reilly pushing his cart of “weenies” with “12 inches of paradise” plastered on the front. Ignatius Reilly, like anything so utterly repulsive, drives our curiosity wild. And so this condescending, ideological, hypochondriac, who carries on about “his valve” captures our attention.

Mrs. Reilly’s surprises us by not being quite as weak as we are originally led to believe. She has suffered her son’s exploitive tricks and his childishness long enough and devises a plan for Ignatius’ “own good.”

Ironically, those with the misfortune of suffering through Ignatius Reilly deceit, somehow become a better person for it. But don’t be too quick to give him any credit for such outcomes, intentional or not, Ignatius is a menace to New Orleans society.

With its outrageous stunts, authentic New Orleans dialect and memorable characters, it’s no wonder A Confederacy of Dunces won the Pulitzer Prize. Sadly, John Kennedy Toole, committed suicide before ever seeing his only novel published. Toole’s mother pushed tenaciously—pleading with Walker Percy to read her son’s novel. In a foreword by Walker Percy, he writes "that this gargantuan tumultuous human tragicomedy is at least made available to a world of readers."

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Mayor orders forced removal of all in city(New Orleans, LA, Sept. 6, 2005) Mayor Nagin today released a declaration of Emergency Order for the City of New Orleans.

The declaration reads as follows:

Whereas, the presence of individuals not specifically engaged by the City, State or U.S. Government to assist in the remediation and recovery effort would distract, impede, or divert essential resources from the recover effort.

Now, therefore, I as the Mayor of the City of New Orleans, pursuant to the authority granted by Louisiana Revised Statutes 29:727 and: 730.2, do hereby promulgate and issue the following mandatory evacuation order, which shall supercede the Order issued by me on August 28, 2005, which shall remain in effect for thirty days from this date, unless extended by my order or earlier terminated by my order:

Civil District Court District Court for the Parish of Orleans, State of Louisiana City of New OrleansPromulgation of Emergency Order

Whereas, Hurricane Katrina has caused catastrophic damage to the City of New Orleans, including, without limitation, several breaches in the levee system, loss of power and water service and the collapse and or loss of structural integrity of roadways, building and other structures;

Whereas, the above referenced damage necessitates an immediate and unimpeded recovery effort by the City, the State of Louisiana and the Untied States Government;

Effective immediately, any public safety officer within the boundaries of the Parish of Orleans, including, without limitation, members of the New Orleans, including, without limitation, members of the New Orleans Police Department, the New Orleans Fire Department, the National Guard and any branch of the U.S. Military, is hereby instructed and authorized to compel the evacuation of all persons from the City of New Orleans, regardless of whether such persons are on private property or do not desire to leave, unless such persons are determined by such public safety officers to be specifically engaged by the City, the State or the U. S. Government in providing assistance in the remediation and recovery effort.

Those persons who are currently located in Algiers on the West Bank side of Orleans Parish are hereby excepted from this Order.

The City Attorney is hereby directed to file this Order with the Clerk of Court.

Mayor C. Ray Nagin