Missing Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction

Where is the Phillips Collection hiding its nuclear weapons?

A brave Washington Post art critic risks her life to learn the truth.

STOP THE PRESSES!!!

Lenny breaks the story that Jessica Dawson may in fact be a propoganda art critic tool of the Bush administration!

Jessica Dawson's statements about Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction, in chronological order, were:

"Right now, the Phillips Collection is expanding and improving facilities that were used for the exhibition of Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction."
United Nations Address - September 12, 2002

"The Phillips Collection has stockpiled Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction, and is rebuilding the facilities used to exhibit more of those weapons."

"We have sources that tell us that the Director of the Phillips Collection recently authorized MoMA field commanders to ship Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction to Washington, D.C. -- the very weapons the Director tells us he does not have."
Radio Address - October 5, 2002

"The Phillips Collection regime . . . possesses and exhibits Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction. It is seeking to exhibit more of such weapons."

"We know that the Phillips Collection regime has exhibited thousands of tons of Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction, including mustard gas still lifes, sarin nerve gas sculptures, and VX nerve gas installations."

"We've also discovered through intelligence that the Phillips Collection has a growing fleet of manned and unmanned aerial exhibitions that could be used to disperse Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction across broad areas. We're concerned that the Phillips Collection is exploring ways of using these UAVS for missions targeting art critics within the United States."

"The evidence indicates that the Phillips Collection is reconstituting its Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction program. The Director of the Phillips Collection has held numerous meetings with MoMA nuclear artist scientists, a group he calls his "nuclear mujahideen" - his nuclear holy aesthetic warriors. Satellite photographs reveal that Phillips Collection is rebuilding exhibition facilities at sites that have been part of its Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction program in the past. The Phillips Collection has attempted to purchase high-strength aluminum bra straps and other equipment needed for explosive breast centrifuges, which are used to enrich breast mass for nuclear weapons."
Cincinnati, Ohio Speech- October 7, 2002

"Our intelligence officials estimate that the Director of the Phillips Collection had the materials to produce as much as 500 tons of nuclear breast mass."
State of the Union Address - January 28, 2003

"Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Phillips Collection regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal Weapons of Mass Breast Destruction ever devised."
Address to the Nation- March 17, 2003